If happiness knocked on your door this morning or if it bumped into you on the street, would you recognize it? 

Would you know that that is the exact happiness that you’ve been looking for? Or the thriving? Or the wealth? Or the health? Or the relationship?

I’m willing to bet that you wouldn’t recognize it unless you’ve done a lot of work in this direction of being clear about what you want.

I want to talk about this whole idea of definitions because so many of us have a shitty past. The degree of shitty is relative, of course. The fact is, we all have a past and for the first 6-7 years of our life we’re like sponges and so a lot of the beliefs that our family, school, etc had – we took those on. No questions asked. We simply soaked them up and created this map of the world that we live by now. 

The thing is, that map we live by isn’t a truthful representation of the actual world. It’s a set or perceptions that dictate whether you think the world is friendly or not and it drives how you show up in the world and what you experience. And this is where I want to bring in the idea of your own personal definitions.

If you don’t like the world you’re living in. If you’re not thriving in your life. If you don’t have the wealth, health, partner, happiness you want, it’s important to being looking at how you define those things. 

How do you know that you don’t have them? Because you keep focusing on the definition of what you don’t have and on how you’re not thriving. 

This may sound overly simplistic but it is simple. We have learned to make it difficult and if you have limiting beliefs, pain, drama or trauma in your past then you need to do the work to clear that.

At its simplest form if you could sit down with yourself and clearly define what it means to you to thrive, to be happy, to be healthy, wealthy, in a loving relationship, having authentic friendships, then chances are you would realize you are closer to that than you think. And if then you could choose every day to focus on how close you are to what you want versus to how far you are away from it, your life would start to change. I guarantee it.

And it would change because you would be seeing all the ways in which what you want is already part of your life. The family, the abundance, the health would then become more. Yes, the Law Of Attraction comes into play here – and yes it does work, I hate it when people say they’ve tried it but it doesn’t work. It fucking works. It’s just that you’re used to creating by default, by the map that you were given and you accepted and you believed that this is how things are. And now you’re stuck creating by default and by someone else’s definition instead of your own. 

It takes a lot of courage to create your own map and create your life consciously. It takes a lot of courage to clear up your past and let that old map go. But you don’t have to do it by yourself. That’s the space I get to hold for my clients – so they can feel safe going there, clearing the old shit from their past, clearing out the stuff that’s not working for them and then redefining the map that they actually want to live by. 

When you dive in and do the work, heal your past and redefine your map, this does not mean that everything in your life becomes hunky dory in your life right away. I’d be lying to you if I said that rainbows and unicorns and millions of dollars rain upon you the very next moment.

What it means:

• You regain back your control of you who are in situations that used to emotionally trigger you.
• You are in control of your responses instead of being reactive.
• You have the tools to get through that situation without it completely derailing you and making your whole day, or week or the next 5 years of your life go south. 

When you redefine the map that you want to live by, when you redefine what thriving, wealth, health, happiness mean to you, you do the work towards it and no matter what life throws at you, you know without a doubt that you can thrive through it in the end.

This is what it means to be empowered: to know you have the choice and the power to handle anything, you know that you will be ok, safe, and in the end, it will likely be the best thing that has happened to you. No matter how long it takes. 

How to redefine your mindset and map of the world:

Step 1

Figure out what map are you living by right now:

what is your current definition of wealth, happiness, health, all the things you think you don’t have currently.

Once you do this audit of where you are, then you know where you are and you can move forward more easily rather than assuming you’re not where you want to be and living in that stuck place. 

Answer these questions: 

• why are my circumstances this way?
• what don’t I like about them?
• what would I rather have instead?

And his will give you a clue as to what to do next. 

You don’t have to have it all figured out. All you need is the first next step. That’s it. 

Step 2 

Take the very first next step and take it fully. Intend it to work. See the evidence that it’s worked. 

Watch for the next step that you’re meant to take. And the next step after that. Ask for help when you need it and be willing to receive the help. 

Let me know how it goes. It’s this simple stuff that makes the biggest impact.